There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
sherlock creates a shortcut on john’s phone so that whenever he types sherlock’s name it changes to “my arousingly brilliant and surprisingly flexible husband”
john always forgets about it until he embarrasses himself while answering blog comments from his phone
finally john gets revenge by creating a shortcut on sherlock’s phone that changes “case” to “cock”
"I’ve got a very big cock, but I’m busy at the moment, so you’re going to have to jump right on it."
"lestrade, i haven’t had a cock in three weeks. I NEED A COCK. -sh"
i might be fake but at least i never turned on gabriella to impress my basketball team : /
buffering more like suffering
"homework" *tired zombie noises*
"studying" *sad zombie noises*
"responsibilities" *disgusted zombie noises*
"internet" *happy zombie noises*
full time hoe online….very shy hoe irl
date a boy who o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡╮༼;´༎ຶ.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨ ༎ຶ༽╭o͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡͡